This will be my last post on this blog, however, it will not be my last letter to you. I will continue to write to you throughout the course of my life, through both bright and dark times. You’ve always been there for me, and you’re my best friend - always will be. I just need a new start, a new mentality for life. I’ve been getting there lately, I really have. I think Kyle’s death has had an immense impact on me that has been unsettling. It has shot the idea into me that I need to get things together. I need to have a better mentality and outlook on life. I was getting there - I really was - and then I learned Kyle died, and it just emphasized it ten times more. I need to live in his name, in your names. I have made the choice to live for the both of you from this day forward.
I have made a new Tumblr that I will continue to blog on, but with a new mentality. In the past month, I have changed so much, Travis, and I can’t emphasize that enough. Kyle’s death just changed me so much more. Last night was a long and painful night, and I thought about a lot. I thought about how far I’ve come in the past month, and how far I still need to go. I go to college in August. I only have so much time. But I feel improvement each and every day.
This final post serves as my forgiving those who have hurt me in the past, and it serves as my letting go of the past. As said in Silver Linings Playbook, "I got nothing but love for you, brother," I got nothing but love for everyone on this earth, despite anything they have done to hurt me. From this day forward, I will live for the future, appreciate each and every day, spread nothing but love, and I will live for Kyle, and for you as well. I will live each day to fullest it can be lived.
Life is a beautiful thing, Travis, and I am so sorry that you and him won’t get to see that beauty. But I promise, I will on your behalf. Everything I do will be in your names.
I love you, and I thank you for everything you have ever done for me. I am forever indebted to you.
I’ll see you soon.